To sum up my 2016 would be ‘the wait’. At the top of the year, I’d been in the job search for half a year and I was anxious to figure out where I’d be relocating and finding an opportunity. I was determined to let it happen in the first quarter of the 2016 and it didn’t end up happening until the last quarter. I’d wanted everything to go according to my own plan. It was in that quest for perfection that looking back, I realize that I wasn’t living in the moment.
It was an uncomfortable and frustrating period to say the least and in those times it’s super easy to try to exert your own control over the matter. Eventually, I shut down when people asked the daunting questions about my development-not because I was embarrassed but because it went from initial encouragement that it would happen soon to concerned questions and I didn’t have all the answers! I felt like I was not living up to the expectations that I had for myself nor the ones that others had for me. In hindsight, I realize those expectorons were a bit unrealistic.
I have always been a planner and couldn’t fathom how it wasn’t working out. I made sure that I did several internships, beginning from my first semester in college in order to prepare for this time. What also made this process hard was that I would travel for interviews and not get feedback so I didn’t know how to personally improve. I didn’t know if the rejections were due to lack of experience or if I wasn’t presenting myself well in interviews.
I can definitely say that these periods of waiting for a prayer to be answered show the true test of our faith.
I was introduced to Ecclesiastes 3 and was reassured by the notion of life happening according to God’s perfect timing. One thing that really helped was having a support system and a place to stay and not worrying about bills in the midst of all of this. I was incredibly appreciative but also stressed because I was so used to being independent.
It took nearly 12 months for me to learn my 2016 lesson -that you have to let go, and let God.
All in all, I can say that 2016 was not just lows. I traveled to one of my favorite places in the world, Dubai, moved back to NY, poured into an amazing cause Painted Pink, witnessed the miracle of life (my niece Aurora), and watched a well deserved political victory (Ghana).
I embrace it all the highs, the lows, the lessons, and the blessing. For 2017, I am claiming it as a year of being fervent, faithful, and open.